(For the past few months, many things happened. I got a job, and I've been so busy. But, due to the great demand from the reader(s) of this blog---namely, Ray, I decided to write this blog again...Thanks, Ray!)
I haven't been practicing Kendo for like a month because I got a job in LA that kept me really busy. Commute between Irvine and LA for 7 days a week really sucks. This morning, I got a text message from Yuji Sensei (actually, he probably sent it last night, but I was knocked out by the fatigue from working overtime, which was between 3 a.m. to 9 p.m. on Tues.). He said that I should at least come practice Kata since I'm registered for the Shinsa (Test) w/in a few weeks. Plus, he said, Lui was asking me if I'm really busy or just being lazy.
I went to the Wed. practice today, and I felt so weired to get back to Kendo again. Only 1 month of absence, but it felt like a long long time to me.
Did a Geiko with Lui. He improved a lot. Now, his feet were really moving, and his motions really big. I could foresee how he'll fly around me like a butterfly and sting me like a bee within a few years. Bennett also improved a lot as well. It's always great to see the Kohais doing well.
During the Geiko with Ray, we both went for Men. His Men went in but I missed my Men. Yuji Sensei was observing this, and he called me up and said:
"If you're gonna go for Men, go all in. If you go for Men with uncertainty and your opponent goes all in, you're bound to lose. You already lost if you don't have that confidence. Also, don't just stop right before you hit. If you're gonna go for it, go all the way in!"
For some reason, I always see my character or my state of mind during Kendo. And, what Yuji Sensei said was so true of me. I felt so strange that Yuji Sensei was telling me as if he was talking about my character. When facing uncertainty (that's always how it is in Kendo...when facing the opponent...because you never know what's gonna happen) with desire to win (something important at stake), my natural reaction is to become too careful or be half-hearted in going forward (because always too afraid). Yup, I'm a coward. But, with what little I have, I want to start again and try to go forward. Isn't that what being brave is all about?
I had a similar talk with my boss a few weeks ago. She said that, "many attorneys analyze way too much, so they cannot get anything done. They just think too much and are too afraid that they don't wanna do anything. I've seen so many attorneys like that. You just have to move forward and learn as you go." She had the right to say this because she is totally opposite. At that moment, it was funny how she spoke like many Senseis at Kendo. I told her about that, and she wanted her son (4 yrs old) to do Kendo.
Jae (Choi) once wrote in his Kendo blog that martial art reflects what's in you. That was true for me. Then, now that I know what I lack (or what needs to be fixed), it's my job to do what is right. How to do it? What I believe to be the Costa Mesa Dojo's one of the few mottos: "Work on your basics." Go back to the basics, do it slowly, do it right, do it consistently and continuously.
"Basically," get back to Kendo again.
Did I over analyze it this time again? :d
