Clarification: Layers of Fear

Jae Choi Sensei also emailed me some additional thoughts on the discussion of the "layers of fear." So, I'm putting them here.

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Regarding your "layers of fear" posting, I just created the following bullet points.

i tried to be "detailed", but of course, this isn't a completely exclusive list. I'm sure everyone can add more to the list.

There are ways to deal with each item, but that's an entirely different topic. :-)

Internal layers of hesitation – Internal conflicts that cause an "ineffective" attack

• Distance hesitation
• I feel too close
• I feel too far
• I improperly judge attacking distance
• Attack hesitation
• If I attack, I’ll open myself to counter-attack
• I don’t know how to mitigate a counter attack, so I'm afraid to attack.
• If I don’t attack fast enough, opponent’s debana waza will attack first
• I don't know when to attack
• I don't know how to attack
• I don’t know how to attack defensively, and I have no contingency.
• My attacking techniques are weak
• I don't know when my opponent is vulnerable to attacks
• I don't how to to make my opponent vulnerable to attacks
• Defense hesitation
• If I defend, my offense will be stale...?
• I don't know how to defend
• I don't feel vulnerable, but I'm still attacked without defense.
• What are counter-attacks?
• I don’t know how to counter-attack
• My counter-attack is too slow
• My counter-attacks are limited
• I don’t know how to defend offensively.
• Physical hesitation
• I’m too tired to make an all-out attack
• I’m tired of not being successful with my attacks, it feels like a waste.
• What’s the point of being tired and never making a point?
• I don’t know what kiai is for
• I don’t know how to use kiai
• I don’t know why I’m using kiai
• I don't know if I should even use kiai.
• I get tight and can’t attack
• I don’t know what signals I’m giving to my opponent
• I don't know what techniques to use..
• I don't know when or why to use certain techniques
• Psychological hesitation
• I don’t know why I’m not attacking
• I don’t know why I’m not defending
• I don’t know why I’m afraid
• I don’t know what I’m thinking about
• I don’t know why I’m thinking too much
• I don’t’ know what my objectives are
• I don’t know what my opponent’s objectives are
• I don’t know how to read my opponent
• I feel like my opponent can read everything I'm thinking
• I don’t know why I don’t know anything I need to or should know

External layers of hesitation – My opponents barriers of resistance that add to my own internal conflicts, to further inhibit my attacks

• Distance layer
• Opponent constantly adjusts distance, whether too close / too far, so that it inhibits my willingness to attack.
• But he's always in distance to strike me.
• Attack layer
• Opponent’s attacks are strong, and inhibits my willingness to attack
• Opponent’s technique’s are superior, and inhibits my willingness to attack
• Opponents attacks literally scare / intimidate me, I feel like cowering and just defending
• Defense layer
• Opponent is in a strong defensive position, and nothing is open.
• Opponent’s Shinai tip is always in the way of my attacks – I can’t get it out of the way.
• Opponent parries every attack and throws me off balance.
• Opponent counter-attacks every attack I make
• Opponent has no fear of my attacks
• Physical hesitation
• Opponent “wraps” or “locks” up my shinai, inhibiting my offense / defense.
• Opponent inhibits my attack by confusing my kamae
• Opponent intimidates my kamae with tai-atari
• Opponent weakens whatever feeling I have in my kamae.
• Psychological hesitation
• Opponent always has the upper-hand
• Opponent appears to have this "aura" or "sphere" of defense that I can't penetrate
• Opponent’s “seme” is strong, and inhibits my willingness to attack
• Opponent “seme” scares me
• Opponent’s kiai is intimidating
• Opponent’s glare is intimidating
• Opponent’s kamae is intimidating, i.e., jodan, hasso,etc.
• Opponent’s eagerness to defeat me is intimidating
• Opponent’s lack of regard for losing is intimidating
• I’m just intimated by every challenge in life
• I’m afraid of failure
• I don’t want to lose
• I don’t feel like winning
• I don't know what to think
• I don't know what to do
• I don't know what to look for
• I just feel like a punching bag

Clarification: Two Areas of Kendo

Jae Choi Sensei emailed me today and said that he read my blog post. He made some further clarifications, so I'm posting it with his permission. Not only the topic and the discussion (of last night) helped me, but his thorough additional clarification also helped me to understand this topic more clearly.

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Kiju,

I read your postings and I want to provide some further clarification about some things.

Let me start by saying that these are my own views of what I perceive as the “schools of thought” about the “discipline” of Kendo, although, these views are not in any way or form, original thoughts of my own, as they’ve been expressed to me by other Sensei, and probably been held by Kenshi in many previous generations.

The Two Areas of Kendo:

I loosely use the phrases “Shiai-Kendo” and “Iai-Kendo” to discern the two different approaches to learning and practicing Kendo.

• By Shiai-Kendo, I refer to the kind of Kendo that is viewed primarily as a sport, but with reference to martial arts foundations and principles.
  
  In this type of Kendo, there’s no specific movement taught to show how to *cut* with a katana. In fact, it takes most sensei a conscious effort to replace the term “strike” with the term “cut” when they are describing a particular Kendo technique, for example, the men.
  
  Any Kenshi who picks up a Katana and attempts to “cut” a men, utilizing the Kendo “strike” technique he has perfected, will very soon realize that his “Kendo Strike” does not “Kendo Cut” the target cleanly. The katana will be embedded in the tameshigiri target about 1/3 to 1/2 the distance through. This is hardly a “good cut”.
  
  What have you recalled when you strike a men in such a matter that it bounces down onto your motodachi’s shoulder?
  
  The motodachi will explain “ten-no-uchi” and show you the “crispness” of a strike that requires the Shinai to be “floating” a few inches above the strike zone, after the strike. Otherwise, your strike is deemed “sloppy”.
  
  If a Katana is to cut through the target, and if the Shinai represents the Katana, should not the follow-through of the shinai on the shoulder be at least the closer form to perfection than having it float a few inches above the men?

• By Iai-Kendo, I refer to the kind of Kendo that is viewed as a derivative of the martial skills utilized when wielding a sword. I use “Iai” from the word “Iaido”, as that solitary martial art refers to the “proper” usage of a Katana.
  
  In this type of Kendo, the movements of striking with the Shinai reflect the movement of cutting with a katana.
  
  However, in most cases, you will not see many practitioners of Iai-Kendo resorting to such movement. The only person that I have ever met that did such a thing is Shikai-sensei’s father-in-law.

In terms of “practicality”, here is what I mean about the practical difference between Shiai-Kendo and Iai-Kendo:

• First, let us establish the base assumption held by proponents of Iai-Kendo, that there is a “proper-way to strike the kote in order to effectively *cut* off the wrist with a katana”.

• Secondly, let us establish another assumption that performing a Kendo “strike” using a Shinai does not constitute the same motion and technique employed by Iai-Kendo proponents to properly “cut” the kote.

• Now let us imagine two opponents facing each other: one equipped with a Shinai (Shiai-Kenshi), the other equipped with a Katana (Iai-Kenshi).

• Let’s assume that the Shiai-Kensi utilizes a smaller motion, utilizing wrist movements to “strike”.

• Let’s assume that the Iai-Kenshi utilizes a larger motion, utilizing more arm/shoulder movements in order to “cut”.
  
  
• Now, let us define what objectives both of these Kenshi have.
  
  
• The Shiai-Kenshi has the objective to “strike”. If by utilizing Shiai-Kendo techniques he can manage to strike the Iai-Kenshi’s kote, or even his fingers, he may be able to disarm the Iai-Kenshi from his katana, without effectively cutting.
  
  
• The Iai-Kenshi has the objective to “cut”. He has an advantage of being able to actually “cut” his opponent, but must perform a specific motion to properly “cut”.
  
  
• From a practicality standpoint, the speed at which the Shiai-Kenshi can strike, in my opinion, is significantly faster than the speed at which the Iai-Kenshi can cut.
  
  
• With the above assumption, it is my opinion that given a particular objective, the strikes of Shiai-Kendo out-weigh the cuts of Iai-Kendo.
  
  
• If Iai-Kenshi state that their movement with Katana is the same as the movements of Shiai-Kenshi with Shinai, they there’s no need to have different perspectives about the two, and no one should be stating the obvious difference between the movements people use with Shinai as opposed to Katana.
  
  
• If Iai-Kenshi state that their cutting motions are literally faster than the striking motions of Shiai-Kenshi, then that would be an interesting match to see.

Now, what I’ve produced is a very simplified and controlled set of circumstances and assumptions in order to validate my point of view. But I hope that you see that it is just to illustrate a thought process, and is not a thorough and intellectual “proof” of why one method is more practical than the other.

The above is what I meant by the “practicality” of Shiai-Kendo vs Iai-Kendo. Basically, I don’t have to be able to “cut” using Iai-Kendo in order to practically benefit from the strikes of Shiai-Kendo.

This does not relate in any way to which method to practice later on in life, regardless of the presence or lack of youthful vitality.

Lesson: Layers of Fear

Also, during the dinner discussion, we talked about the difficulty of breaking the opponent's barrier.

Jae Choi Sensei said that there are layers of fear we must over come (or get through).

First, he said we must over come our own layer of fear (the self-imposed fear).

He said, "First, you must break the layer of your own self-imposed fear. Do not let your self-imposed fear block you." (or something along that line) He said he learned this from Yamaguchi Sensei long time ago in a different context, but it is applicable to us.

After that, once you've broken your self-imposed fear, then you must break your opponent's tip of the sword (shinai).

After that, then you must break your opponent's wall of barrier. And, so on.

Basically, he suggested us to overcome our fear layer by layer. So, each practice, I should get into it w/ that objective in mind.

Lesson: Two Areas of Kendo

Today, we had Costa Mesa Dojo's get-together dinner. I had a great time having dinner and talking to our dojo's Senseis and members.

During the dinner, we had a discussion about Kendo (surprise!) w/ Jae Choi Sensei, and he said that there are two major schools of thoughts in Kendo.

One is Shiai Kendo* where shinai is considered to be what it is (a stick), and this school of thought emphasizes on more practical aspect of Kendo.

The other is Iyai Kendo* where shinai is considered to be a substitute of the real sword, and this school of thought emphasizes on the traditional cutting of the blade thus teaches us to strike as if we're cutting w/ the actual sword.

He said that there's no right way or wrong way, and both of them have its advantages and disadvantages. For example, for Shiai Kendo, it is more practical yet it requires a kenshi to be more physically able, thus as the kenshi ages, it becomes more difficult to do this kind of Kendo. As for Iyai Kendo, it is more traditional and the kenshi can practice this regardless of his/her age, but it can also be less practical in the real life Kendo b/c we're actually using shinai not the real sword.

This discussion clarified my confusion, which I had for long long time. Over the years, some Senseis told me to "strike as if you're cutting w/ the actual sword" while other Senseis told me to "strike w/out unnecessary movements." I've been confused b/c they were all great Senseis whom I had great respect.

When we start Kendo as a beginner, we all think that there's one right way. But, as we get deeper into the world of Kendo, we realize that the spirit and techniques of Kendo are manifested in different ways through different person b/c we're all different (spiritually, mentally, and physically). I guess that's the beauty of Kendo?

*I don't know these terms actually exist or Jae Choi Sensei came up w/ these to give us an illustration of what he was explaining to us. But either way, I understood what he meant by them.