Lesson: Seme te Men

I. Problem: One-Step Attacks

Until now, I didn't really try to use Seme b/c I never could really understand the concept. Plus, one-step attacks from close distance (*Chikai-ma-ai) were much easier and tempting (especially when I really wanted to win), so I didn't really bother to learn the concept of Seme. I just kept practiced being fast in one-step attacks from the closest distance.

(*Chikai-ma-ai (close distance): Also called Chika-ma. A smaller distance than **Issoku-itto-no-ma-ai. At this distance, one's strike can easily reach the opponent, but the same holds for the opponent's strike.)

(**Issoku-itto-no-ma-ai: The distance which enables a player to strike the opponent by taking one step forward and to evade the opponent's strike by taking one step backward. The fundamental spatial distance in kendo.)

But, after I got my 3 dan, I began to realize that most Sensei and advanced kenshi can block my one-step attacks. Also, because I ONLY could attack from one-step distance, I had to wait until the opponent comes close enough for me to attack. But, usually, the opponent (usually being Sensei or advanced kenshi) already comes in w/ Seme then translates right into the decisive attack even before I had my chance of attack. I began to see the need of attack where I'm in charge of the attack and I control the opponent (not the other way).

II. The Need for Proper Distance

Long time ago, Spencer Sensei told me that once the opponent comes into your territory (probably start passing the Issoku-itto-no-ma-ai) then start pressing in, I shouldn't just stand there. Once the opponent crosses Chika-ma, it's already too close. Recently, Jae Choi Sensei told me that I just stand there when the opponent keep pressing in until the distance is too close. He said when the opponent is too close, pull back, regain my proper distance and start again.

So, from that Issoku-itto-no-ma-ai (the distance which I'm not so used to in attacking), how am I suppose to attack effectively while having the opponent under my control?

III. Clearing Opponent's Defense

Recently, Jae Choi Sensei began teaching me that I should clear my way (clearing the opponent's defense) so that I can attack. He said I can either 1) knock out the opponent's shinai thus physically moving the opponent's defense out of the way, OR 2) I can use Seme to create openings. Then, he taught me the first option of knocking the opponent's shinai out. (He taught me this long time ago too, but I never realized the significance of it until now)

From this Monday's conversation w/ Spencer Sensei and Yuji Sensei's teachings from earlier, the second option of using Seme also began to make sense to me. (Please refer to "Lesson: Seme w/ Purpose" from my previous blog) After all, in order for me to effectively attack, I should remove the opponent's defense and create opening either by my own physical force or by having the opponent do it voluntarily.

IV. Seme

A. Spencer Sensei

Every time I practice w/ Spencer Sensei, when he strikes my Men, I have this vivid image of him attacking me. It's so consistent each time that I have this mental picture of him -- that split second moment image of him attacking me. I tried to draw it as best as I could, but please excuse my bad drawing... :)

Now I think about it, his Men attacks were not one-step attack but Seme te Men attack (usually Seme to my Tsuki). The most recent image of this attack I have is his attack from the Yamaguchi Cup.

So, this is the idea (picture).

B. Jae Choi Sensei

Since I was a beginner, and many times before, and recently also, Jae Choi Sensei made me to do the following drill: 1) take first step and strike Tsuki; then 2) strike Men.

I never understood why, but now I can understand that that drill was the most basic steps of learning the effective Seme te Men.

At the time, I couldn't understand the purpose b/c in real keiko, when I stepped in w/ Tsuki, all my opponents blocked me. So, I could not link the first step of the drill to the next step (Men strike). But, now I can see that Jae Sensei was teaching me that "Seme w/ Purpose of Striking Tsuki." If I can smoothly connect both motions into one, then I should have the same motion as when Spencer Sensei attacks me.

C. Takahashi Sensei and Richard Ra

So, yesterday, I practiced Seme te Men w/ Richard. When I asked Richard if he could feel my Seme (the pressure), he said no b/c my Seme is not centered. He said that when I press in, my shinai should be centered or else, it will not break the opponent's defense. He said, "there's only one center for either one of us' shinai."

Then, I remembered Takahashi Sensei's teaching from Monday (and several times before) that "whoever has the center wins." He always stressed to me that I must have the center in order to have successful attack.

V. Conclusion

When I tried to practice it yesterday at the Yakusoku Keiko w/ Richard, it was so awkward b/c, from the further distance than what I'm used to, I had to step in w/ Seme THEN attack. It already lowered my confidence level b/c the distance is further and there's more step involved. But, for me to create the opening by pressuring the opponent (either having him raise or tilt his shinai or just make him stand there), this is imperative. I should work on this.

Lesson: Seme w/ Purpose

After the first practice, I asked Spencer Sensei about how I can do Seme effectively. I said that when I try to do Seme, it's ineffective so people don't move.

He said that I shouldn't just step in trying to do Seme, but I should "Seme w/ purpose."

I should Seme in w/ intent to execute an attack, then when the opening is created, I should attack accordingly. It would be very short moment (split seconds), but that's why I need to practice.

I said that, all this time, I've been trying to attack from one-step distance, as fast as I can.

He said that such attack will soon be ineffective b/c there's always gonna be someone faster than me (especially as I get older). Thus, I should practice using Seme to create the opening. And, in doing so, I should Seme in w/ purpose of real attack.

(Oh, he also said that I go to the side after the attack. I should go straight in toward the opponent.)

Lesson: Suri-ashi

During our Suri-ashi practice today, Spencer Sensei said that I should bring my left foot right away b/c my left foot is too slow (lagging). He said that it should be like a snap.

For some reason, although I've heard that so many times before, it became very clear to me today. (I think the reason is b/c I saw one of the visiting Sensei on Monday -- I forgot her name -- who had really good Suri-ashi, so I was relating to that)

I tried the way Spencer Sensei told me while picturing the Suri-ashi of the Sensei I saw on Monday. My left leg felt really tired soon, and Spencer Sensei said that it's b/c I'm not used to it.

I'm glad that Suri-ashi actually makes sense to me now. I need to get used to this by practicing more.

Thought: Center of Weight

Many times, different Sensei told me that I lift up my leg when I attack. Olson Sensei mentioned it recently again, and on Monday practice, Yuji Sensei said that I don't carry my attack w/ my leg thus my upper body goes first and I end up lifting my leg up.

While thinking about how I can correct this problem, a comparison w/ boxing occurred to me.

(Actually, a few practices ago, Jae Choi Sensei gave me an illustration w/ boxing, and ever since, I related kendo w/ boxing. I used to take boxing during my absence from kendo, so I could easily relate to that illustration)

(Diagram: Boxing 1) In boxing, from the basic stance, when you try to throw right punch to a distant target in the shortest time possible, most beginners (or non-boxers) throw their right punch trying to reach out the target while not using their body or footwork. The results are: 1) although you may reach to target w/ your hand, the impact of the punch is very weak (thus ineffective); 2) the center of weight is off balanced and unstable, thus, again, your punch does not carry any power that is transferred from your center of weight (body) and from your foot; and 3) since you are off balanced, you cannot continue the attack if the first punch was not successful, thus creating opening for the opponent to counterattack.

(Diagram: Boxing 2) However, when you "step in" with your whole body (meaning you carry your whole body w/ your foot thus the center of weight is stable): 1) the impact of the punch is solid from the power generated by your body and your foot -- also from the turning motion of your body; 2) the center of weight is stable; and 3) since you have stable balance, you can continue w/ secondary or tertiary attacks if the initial punch was unsuccessful.

(Diagram: Kendo 1 and 2) Same principle applies to kendo except that you're trying to strike w/ shinai instead of punch.

I have realized that, when facing the opponent, my natural desire and tendency is to try to reach to the target as fast as I can. That tendency and desire makes me to lean forward in order to reach the target w/ my shinai and my left leg being lifted up. (As if, in football, a running back leans forward to cross that line for the touchdown -- they usually dive into the end zone when chased, which is the most extreme case of leaning forward)

The difference is that in football, the objective IS to "reach" to the target (the end zone) while in kendo (or in boxing), the objective is to deliver an effective strike (or punch) to the target. The difference is substance. In kendo (and boxing), you must actually deliver the substance w/ your motion. That means, you have to give up reaching faster in exchange of delivering solid (substantive) and valid strike.

I think that the key in delivering such solid (substantive) strike comes from the body and the foot (as in boxing). That also means, I must work on 2 things: 1) changing my mental picture to carry the whole body w/ me (instead of striving to reaching to the target); and 2) my footwork, especially my left foot as the generator of the power.

Now, the mental picture is drawn, I should put this to the practice so that my body gets used to it -- which will take long time...

Epilogue: The 1st Yamaguchi Cup

The 1st Yamaguchi Cup at our dojo (Costa Mesa Kendo Dojo) last week was successful. I saw some great kendo and felt privileged to have competed against Spencer Hosokawa Sensei. Congratulations to Desmond Nakamoto Senpai for the 1st place. This tournament was especially significant to me for the following reasons:

First of all, this tournament was named after Takeshi Yamaguchi Sensei who is one of the most respected Sensei I have ever known. In addition to his own influence to my life and my kendo, many Sensei who learned from him also influenced me greatly.

Secondly, I saw all the kenshi doing their best to win while striving to maintain proper kendo. Since it was ippon shobu (1 point match) w/out any rank division, any kenshi had a chance to win, so each kenshi tried their best. Certainly, I was one of them when I faced Spencer Sensei. I knew his kendo was great and I would have very little, if not at all, chance to win. So, I gave everything I had in playing against him. However, since our dojo (under Yamaguchi Sensei's teaching) stresses proper kendo, I tried to maintain the proper kendo even under the pressure to win. I saw this occurring in other kenshi as well, thus resulting in some great kendo matches and performances.

Finally and personally, this tournament was the only tournament I could attend throughout the year. Since I goto church on Sundays, I could not attend kendo tournaments on Sundays. (I've tried a few times in the past, but I never felt comfortable attending kendo tournament over church) I take it as God's gift to me? :)

I'm thankful for the Yamaguchi Cup, and I should try my best to win next year.

Lesson: No Mind

I received the following comment from Olson Sensei for one of my blog posts. I thought it was worth sharing b/c it's a great lesson. (Thank you Olson Sensei for the permission)

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Remember the concept of "mushin" or no mind.

Musashi referred to it in the Five Rings many times.

You practice the same thing over and over, so your automatic reactions take over.

Kendo becomes like a reflex, bypassing the nerve pathways to the brain and back.

Too much time, too much opportunity for error, too much time for your opponent to strike.

Practice with no mind, no thinking just action and reaction.

B.Olson

Lesson: Amazing Timing

Yamaguchi Sensei once said that it's not about how fast you are, but it's about how good timing you have.

Today, during the 1st Yamaguchi Cup, I was observing Shoraku Sensei and Shiono Sensei's match.

Despite Shiono Sensei's great techniques and speed (and also being much younger), Shoraku Sensei won the match with Do strike. I got to witness what it's like to have amazing timing.

(I also remembered observing Shoraku Sensei's timing during his keiko w/ Desmond Senpai who has lighting speed)

After the practice, I asked Shoraku Sensei how I can practice that timing. He said that I should "see the opponent w/ my body -- not w/ my eyes or my head." He said that he sees the opponent as a "whole" instead of focusing on certain areas of attack. He said that if I see the opponent like that, then I can see the whole movement of the opponent. He illustrated it as looking at the whole mountain afar instead of focusing a small part of that mountain.

I should work on this.

Lesson: Solid Strike

Today was the 1st Yamaguchi Cup, and my first match was with Spencer Sensei (which I lost, but I felt really good about that match).

After the practice, I asked Spencer Sensei for comments, and he said that overall, it was good but my strike was not solid enough. Richard Ra also said that during my Yakusoku-geiko w/ him today.

I should practice to have more solid strike.

Lesson: Forward feeling after strike

Different sensei commented before that I raise my shinai high up after striking Men thus making the feeling to go up instead of going forward.

Takahashi Sensei said it, Spencer Sensei said it, and Jae Choi Sensei said it.

Today, Jae Choi Sensei worked w/ me in making my shinai (feeling) go forward instead of high up. He said to extend my right arm straight forward keeping it about my shoulder height (little below but never higher than shoulder). He also mentioned that I should have my left arm straight, feeling like I'm punching the opponent's Do (in the middle).

It was difficult to get used to b/c: 1) I tend to raise my shinai up after striking Men; or 2) if I run into the opponent, then I tend to pull both my arms.

Jae Sensei said that by extending both arms, I can: 1) go straight through the opponent; or 2) if the opponent blocks me, I can do Tai-atari Men right away.

Afterward, I did Yakusoku-geiko w/ Richard Ra, practicing what I learned. Yuji Sensei watched my practice and commented that I try to extend both arms and just trying to reach the opponent while my foot work does not follow at all. He said that my footwork should carry the strike, not just my arms.

It was extremely difficult to correct something that I have gotten so used to -- years of keep doing bad habit. I should work hard to fix this.

Lesson: Straight Men

A few practices earlier, during my keiko w/ Takahashi Sensei, he made me to practice Ai-Men (both side striking Men simultaneously). He kept on striking my Men but I could not strike his Men. After the keiko, he said, "whoever hits the straight Men, he wins."

Lesson: Small Men 2

I found this link on the internet. Imafuji Sensei explains how to hit small Men. His explanation and demonstration of what to do and what not to do also helped.

http://www.kendo-guide.com/small_men.html

Lesson: Small Men

This Monday was my first kendo practice in like 7 months.

I was very happy to be back.

Jae Choi Sensei said that I need to work on my swing and footworks, so he went through several drills with me, one of which was striking small Men.

He said that since I'm 3 dan now, I should use advanced technique. He said that my Men was too big, so the opponent can easily see it and can block it. Indeed, I've been trying to use the "big Men" swing, which I learned since I was a beginner, during keiko. But, since my body couldn't follow my mind, I used right elbow for all my strikes -- thus creating a big shinai motion at slower speed but with much energy.

Jae Choi Sensei used the analogy of violin.

As a beginner, a player is taught to use big swing of the bow. But later, as the player's skills advance, he can use various techniques depending on the music/situation. When the music is fast, he shouldn't try to play it w/ big swings but should use wrists to play the fast notes.

So is kendo's swings -- depending on the situation, one must vary his technique.

Then, he made me to hit 3 Men strikes using my: 1) shoulders; 2) elbows; and 3) wrists.

He told me to feel and know the difference.

In striking small Men:

1. the center between your right hand and the left hand becomes the focal point.

2. as you move forward to strike, your right hand should lift up and left hand should push down (see the diagram indicated as "1" in blue). Also, when you raise the tip of your shinai, only lift up as much as needed for an efficient strike.

3. then, push down your right hand and pull up the left hand (see the diagram indicated as "2" in red).

[I remembered learning this long long time ago from the late-Hirata Sensei. Hirata Sensei also demonstrated this strike to me w/ his eyes closed, telling me that once you master this, it can be very effective and accurate.

I also remembered Yamaguchi Sensei once told me to be natural -- then he demonstrated to me but I can't really describe it. It was very naturally flowing Men strike.]

I came home and watched many slow motion videos of kendo tournaments, and indeed, all the kenshi were using that small Men -- their styles varied little by each player.

On Saturday's dojo dinner (for Yuji Sensei's passing of 6th dan), I had a discussion w/ Spencer Sensei, and he described striking small Men as "abbreviated version of big Men." He first showed me a big Men swing, then, to show the small Men swing, he raised his arms just a little up then hit Men (but overall motion didn't differ much).

Learning from all the Sensei and seeing the videos, it all seemed consistent to me. I should practice on this.

Clarification: Layers of Fear

Jae Choi Sensei also emailed me some additional thoughts on the discussion of the "layers of fear." So, I'm putting them here.

---------------------------------------

Regarding your "layers of fear" posting, I just created the following bullet points.

i tried to be "detailed", but of course, this isn't a completely exclusive list. I'm sure everyone can add more to the list.

There are ways to deal with each item, but that's an entirely different topic. :-)

Internal layers of hesitation – Internal conflicts that cause an "ineffective" attack

• Distance hesitation
• I feel too close
• I feel too far
• I improperly judge attacking distance
• Attack hesitation
• If I attack, I’ll open myself to counter-attack
• I don’t know how to mitigate a counter attack, so I'm afraid to attack.
• If I don’t attack fast enough, opponent’s debana waza will attack first
• I don't know when to attack
• I don't know how to attack
• I don’t know how to attack defensively, and I have no contingency.
• My attacking techniques are weak
• I don't know when my opponent is vulnerable to attacks
• I don't how to to make my opponent vulnerable to attacks
• Defense hesitation
• If I defend, my offense will be stale...?
• I don't know how to defend
• I don't feel vulnerable, but I'm still attacked without defense.
• What are counter-attacks?
• I don’t know how to counter-attack
• My counter-attack is too slow
• My counter-attacks are limited
• I don’t know how to defend offensively.
• Physical hesitation
• I’m too tired to make an all-out attack
• I’m tired of not being successful with my attacks, it feels like a waste.
• What’s the point of being tired and never making a point?
• I don’t know what kiai is for
• I don’t know how to use kiai
• I don’t know why I’m using kiai
• I don't know if I should even use kiai.
• I get tight and can’t attack
• I don’t know what signals I’m giving to my opponent
• I don't know what techniques to use..
• I don't know when or why to use certain techniques
• Psychological hesitation
• I don’t know why I’m not attacking
• I don’t know why I’m not defending
• I don’t know why I’m afraid
• I don’t know what I’m thinking about
• I don’t know why I’m thinking too much
• I don’t’ know what my objectives are
• I don’t know what my opponent’s objectives are
• I don’t know how to read my opponent
• I feel like my opponent can read everything I'm thinking
• I don’t know why I don’t know anything I need to or should know

External layers of hesitation – My opponents barriers of resistance that add to my own internal conflicts, to further inhibit my attacks

• Distance layer
• Opponent constantly adjusts distance, whether too close / too far, so that it inhibits my willingness to attack.
• But he's always in distance to strike me.
• Attack layer
• Opponent’s attacks are strong, and inhibits my willingness to attack
• Opponent’s technique’s are superior, and inhibits my willingness to attack
• Opponents attacks literally scare / intimidate me, I feel like cowering and just defending
• Defense layer
• Opponent is in a strong defensive position, and nothing is open.
• Opponent’s Shinai tip is always in the way of my attacks – I can’t get it out of the way.
• Opponent parries every attack and throws me off balance.
• Opponent counter-attacks every attack I make
• Opponent has no fear of my attacks
• Physical hesitation
• Opponent “wraps” or “locks” up my shinai, inhibiting my offense / defense.
• Opponent inhibits my attack by confusing my kamae
• Opponent intimidates my kamae with tai-atari
• Opponent weakens whatever feeling I have in my kamae.
• Psychological hesitation
• Opponent always has the upper-hand
• Opponent appears to have this "aura" or "sphere" of defense that I can't penetrate
• Opponent’s “seme” is strong, and inhibits my willingness to attack
• Opponent “seme” scares me
• Opponent’s kiai is intimidating
• Opponent’s glare is intimidating
• Opponent’s kamae is intimidating, i.e., jodan, hasso,etc.
• Opponent’s eagerness to defeat me is intimidating
• Opponent’s lack of regard for losing is intimidating
• I’m just intimated by every challenge in life
• I’m afraid of failure
• I don’t want to lose
• I don’t feel like winning
• I don't know what to think
• I don't know what to do
• I don't know what to look for
• I just feel like a punching bag

Clarification: Two Areas of Kendo

Jae Choi Sensei emailed me today and said that he read my blog post. He made some further clarifications, so I'm posting it with his permission. Not only the topic and the discussion (of last night) helped me, but his thorough additional clarification also helped me to understand this topic more clearly.

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Kiju,

I read your postings and I want to provide some further clarification about some things.

Let me start by saying that these are my own views of what I perceive as the “schools of thought” about the “discipline” of Kendo, although, these views are not in any way or form, original thoughts of my own, as they’ve been expressed to me by other Sensei, and probably been held by Kenshi in many previous generations.

The Two Areas of Kendo:

I loosely use the phrases “Shiai-Kendo” and “Iai-Kendo” to discern the two different approaches to learning and practicing Kendo.

• By Shiai-Kendo, I refer to the kind of Kendo that is viewed primarily as a sport, but with reference to martial arts foundations and principles.
  
  In this type of Kendo, there’s no specific movement taught to show how to *cut* with a katana. In fact, it takes most sensei a conscious effort to replace the term “strike” with the term “cut” when they are describing a particular Kendo technique, for example, the men.
  
  Any Kenshi who picks up a Katana and attempts to “cut” a men, utilizing the Kendo “strike” technique he has perfected, will very soon realize that his “Kendo Strike” does not “Kendo Cut” the target cleanly. The katana will be embedded in the tameshigiri target about 1/3 to 1/2 the distance through. This is hardly a “good cut”.
  
  What have you recalled when you strike a men in such a matter that it bounces down onto your motodachi’s shoulder?
  
  The motodachi will explain “ten-no-uchi” and show you the “crispness” of a strike that requires the Shinai to be “floating” a few inches above the strike zone, after the strike. Otherwise, your strike is deemed “sloppy”.
  
  If a Katana is to cut through the target, and if the Shinai represents the Katana, should not the follow-through of the shinai on the shoulder be at least the closer form to perfection than having it float a few inches above the men?

• By Iai-Kendo, I refer to the kind of Kendo that is viewed as a derivative of the martial skills utilized when wielding a sword. I use “Iai” from the word “Iaido”, as that solitary martial art refers to the “proper” usage of a Katana.
  
  In this type of Kendo, the movements of striking with the Shinai reflect the movement of cutting with a katana.
  
  However, in most cases, you will not see many practitioners of Iai-Kendo resorting to such movement. The only person that I have ever met that did such a thing is Shikai-sensei’s father-in-law.

In terms of “practicality”, here is what I mean about the practical difference between Shiai-Kendo and Iai-Kendo:

• First, let us establish the base assumption held by proponents of Iai-Kendo, that there is a “proper-way to strike the kote in order to effectively *cut* off the wrist with a katana”.

• Secondly, let us establish another assumption that performing a Kendo “strike” using a Shinai does not constitute the same motion and technique employed by Iai-Kendo proponents to properly “cut” the kote.

• Now let us imagine two opponents facing each other: one equipped with a Shinai (Shiai-Kenshi), the other equipped with a Katana (Iai-Kenshi).

• Let’s assume that the Shiai-Kensi utilizes a smaller motion, utilizing wrist movements to “strike”.

• Let’s assume that the Iai-Kenshi utilizes a larger motion, utilizing more arm/shoulder movements in order to “cut”.
  
  
• Now, let us define what objectives both of these Kenshi have.
  
  
• The Shiai-Kenshi has the objective to “strike”. If by utilizing Shiai-Kendo techniques he can manage to strike the Iai-Kenshi’s kote, or even his fingers, he may be able to disarm the Iai-Kenshi from his katana, without effectively cutting.
  
  
• The Iai-Kenshi has the objective to “cut”. He has an advantage of being able to actually “cut” his opponent, but must perform a specific motion to properly “cut”.
  
  
• From a practicality standpoint, the speed at which the Shiai-Kenshi can strike, in my opinion, is significantly faster than the speed at which the Iai-Kenshi can cut.
  
  
• With the above assumption, it is my opinion that given a particular objective, the strikes of Shiai-Kendo out-weigh the cuts of Iai-Kendo.
  
  
• If Iai-Kenshi state that their movement with Katana is the same as the movements of Shiai-Kenshi with Shinai, they there’s no need to have different perspectives about the two, and no one should be stating the obvious difference between the movements people use with Shinai as opposed to Katana.
  
  
• If Iai-Kenshi state that their cutting motions are literally faster than the striking motions of Shiai-Kenshi, then that would be an interesting match to see.

Now, what I’ve produced is a very simplified and controlled set of circumstances and assumptions in order to validate my point of view. But I hope that you see that it is just to illustrate a thought process, and is not a thorough and intellectual “proof” of why one method is more practical than the other.

The above is what I meant by the “practicality” of Shiai-Kendo vs Iai-Kendo. Basically, I don’t have to be able to “cut” using Iai-Kendo in order to practically benefit from the strikes of Shiai-Kendo.

This does not relate in any way to which method to practice later on in life, regardless of the presence or lack of youthful vitality.

Lesson: Layers of Fear

Also, during the dinner discussion, we talked about the difficulty of breaking the opponent's barrier.

Jae Choi Sensei said that there are layers of fear we must over come (or get through).

First, he said we must over come our own layer of fear (the self-imposed fear).

He said, "First, you must break the layer of your own self-imposed fear. Do not let your self-imposed fear block you." (or something along that line) He said he learned this from Yamaguchi Sensei long time ago in a different context, but it is applicable to us.

After that, once you've broken your self-imposed fear, then you must break your opponent's tip of the sword (shinai).

After that, then you must break your opponent's wall of barrier. And, so on.

Basically, he suggested us to overcome our fear layer by layer. So, each practice, I should get into it w/ that objective in mind.

Lesson: Two Areas of Kendo

Today, we had Costa Mesa Dojo's get-together dinner. I had a great time having dinner and talking to our dojo's Senseis and members.

During the dinner, we had a discussion about Kendo (surprise!) w/ Jae Choi Sensei, and he said that there are two major schools of thoughts in Kendo.

One is Shiai Kendo* where shinai is considered to be what it is (a stick), and this school of thought emphasizes on more practical aspect of Kendo.

The other is Iyai Kendo* where shinai is considered to be a substitute of the real sword, and this school of thought emphasizes on the traditional cutting of the blade thus teaches us to strike as if we're cutting w/ the actual sword.

He said that there's no right way or wrong way, and both of them have its advantages and disadvantages. For example, for Shiai Kendo, it is more practical yet it requires a kenshi to be more physically able, thus as the kenshi ages, it becomes more difficult to do this kind of Kendo. As for Iyai Kendo, it is more traditional and the kenshi can practice this regardless of his/her age, but it can also be less practical in the real life Kendo b/c we're actually using shinai not the real sword.

This discussion clarified my confusion, which I had for long long time. Over the years, some Senseis told me to "strike as if you're cutting w/ the actual sword" while other Senseis told me to "strike w/out unnecessary movements." I've been confused b/c they were all great Senseis whom I had great respect.

When we start Kendo as a beginner, we all think that there's one right way. But, as we get deeper into the world of Kendo, we realize that the spirit and techniques of Kendo are manifested in different ways through different person b/c we're all different (spiritually, mentally, and physically). I guess that's the beauty of Kendo?

*I don't know these terms actually exist or Jae Choi Sensei came up w/ these to give us an illustration of what he was explaining to us. But either way, I understood what he meant by them.

Feedback: on The Science of Focus (Part II)

After my posting, I had a chance to speak w/ Jae Choi Sensei.

He made me to realize that it may not be the 'desire' not to waste my energy (or fear), but it may be the "belief" on percentage of success that could make me to hesitate.

For example, he asked me, "would you be happy if you were to make the perfect attack every time but you are so tired after each attack?" My response was "yes." He then asked, "then, would you still attack even if you were so tired after each attack?" I said yes b/c I think it's still worth it and that drive to have another successful attack will prevail my physical fatigue.

He then asked, "then, would you be happy if you were to have 1 successful attack out of 100 attacks?" I said "probably not" b/c I'll be disappointed for the 99 attacks for my wasted energy.

He then pointed out, "you're willing to accept your fatigue if you know your attack will be successful, but you hesitate to attack b/c you fear that you'll feel fatigue when your chance of success is little. Then, the very factor that binds you from attacking (making you to hesitate) is not the fatigue (or the anticipation for fatigue) itself, but it's your 'belief' that's already in your mind that your chance of success will be little."

In other words, when you face your opponent, you "believe" that your attack will have very little chance of success, thus you already hesitate. If you "know" for sure that your attack will be successful, then you were willing to accept that fatigue each time. But, since you already "believe" that you have very little chance of success, the moment you Kamae, you hesitate.

He finally asked me to ponder upon 'what I know' v. 'what I believe.'

Although I was somewhat confused at the time, after thinking about it for several days, I thought there was some good truth to it. I helped me to look deeper w/in the cause of my hesitation (not the fatigue itself but my belief that I will have very little chance of successful attack) and led me to one of the fundamental truth: "What you believe to be is who you are."

P.s. I don't know if I quoted correctly, but I've heard many wisdoms along that line. "If you believe in it, then you will be able to do it." So many times, we brainwash ourselves that, even before we try something, we're no good at it. That's why, many people/things in this world, try so hard to suppress our own belief about ourselves so that they can prevail over us. (Ex. bullies at fight, big sized animal v. small sized animal, etc.)

The Science of Fear: Part III

One advice from Desmond Senpai was to watch Jae Choi Sensei b/c "he doesn't seem to care whether he gets hit or not but he only focuses on making his attack."

I would interpret this as that Jae Choi Sensei's mind is only focused on making that perfect attack that nothing else matters. If your mind is only filled w/ (occupied w/) making the perfect attack, other thoughts/desires will diminish.

He may lose, get hit, or his attack may be unsuccessful. But, to him, that will not matter b/c, until he makes that perfect attack. His mind will not cease nor be hindered from making that perfect attack. Every single thought or his instincts are solely focused on making that perfect kendo attack (proper and valid), that nothing else would matter.

That means, one solution to fear would be: FOCUS.

Then, my next question would be..'What do I focus on?'

P.s. I tried to interpret D. Senpai's advice and analyze J. Sensei's thought process in my own terms. This is solely my own analysis and maybe differ from their true intentions/thoughts.

The Science of Fear: Part II

After the conversation w/ Desmond Senpai, I started to really ask myself:

'What do I fear so that I cannot move forward?'

1. When I face the opponent (usu. higher rank or better skilled kenshi), I don't see any opening.

2. Then, I want to just stand there to look for an opening - the perfect chance that will guarantee me that my attack will be successful.

a. At that moment, this strong fear/desire (?) kicks into my heart: I DON'T WANT TO WASTE MY ENERGY.

I've realized that it's not the fear of losing (I've done it plenty) nor getting hit (I've gotten it plenty). I'd gladly accept them both (especially from people who are better than me -- even from those who are younger or lower rank than me) b/c I would learn from them.

b. But, I hate the feeling right after the unsuccessful attack that my energy was wasted on an unsuccessful effort; that now, I have less energy to fight with and I still have to go on. I hate that disappointment and I hate that feeling of wasted energy. I hate the feeling of weakness after the wasted energy.

3. However, (unless the opponent is less skillful than I am) that perfect chance never comes. And, all the sudden, the opponent steps forward. Our distance gets closer, and he/she's within the one-step strike zone. Now, I feel pressured to either move backward or attack (regardless of whether I'm ready or not).

4. My natural tendency is to step backward b/c I don't want to attack when I'm not ready. But, I've been taught "not to back up." So, my desire (to back up) and my thought (do not back up) start to conflict w/in me.

5. I'd say it's 50-50. Half of the time, I back up and the other half, I just attack. It also depends on my physical condition at the time too. If I'm too tired, I would back up. If I'm energetic, I would attack. But, either way, I'm moved by the opponent's pressure (Seme). I'm moved at the opponent's time (not on my time).

I've looked into my fear. So, now, what do I do to overcome this?

The Science of Fear: Part I

Wow! It's been such a long time since I wrote my last blog entry.

On this Wed. practice, Jae Choi Sensei came and practiced w/ us. (I didn't practice but only observed)

After the practice, Desmond Senpai called on me and said that (knowing my Kendo and some areas that I struggle w/) I should watch and learn from Jae Choi Sensei's Kendo. He explained that one of my problems in Kendo is that I hesitate alot. But, he said that Jae Choi Sensei seems that he never hesitate and only focuses on going for his target. Desmond Senpai said that it's as if J. Choi Sensei doesn't even care about getting hit or failing his attempt to attack.

D. Senpai said that when he observed my Kendo, he feels that I hesitate alot b/c I think alot. So, observing J. Choi Sensei's Kendo would help me.

I took that advice to my heart, especially now that J. Choi Sensei will come to the practice more often!