Clarification: Layers of Fear

Jae Choi Sensei also emailed me some additional thoughts on the discussion of the "layers of fear." So, I'm putting them here.

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Regarding your "layers of fear" posting, I just created the following bullet points.

i tried to be "detailed", but of course, this isn't a completely exclusive list. I'm sure everyone can add more to the list.

There are ways to deal with each item, but that's an entirely different topic. :-)

Internal layers of hesitation – Internal conflicts that cause an "ineffective" attack

• Distance hesitation
• I feel too close
• I feel too far
• I improperly judge attacking distance
• Attack hesitation
• If I attack, I’ll open myself to counter-attack
• I don’t know how to mitigate a counter attack, so I'm afraid to attack.
• If I don’t attack fast enough, opponent’s debana waza will attack first
• I don't know when to attack
• I don't know how to attack
• I don’t know how to attack defensively, and I have no contingency.
• My attacking techniques are weak
• I don't know when my opponent is vulnerable to attacks
• I don't how to to make my opponent vulnerable to attacks
• Defense hesitation
• If I defend, my offense will be stale...?
• I don't know how to defend
• I don't feel vulnerable, but I'm still attacked without defense.
• What are counter-attacks?
• I don’t know how to counter-attack
• My counter-attack is too slow
• My counter-attacks are limited
• I don’t know how to defend offensively.
• Physical hesitation
• I’m too tired to make an all-out attack
• I’m tired of not being successful with my attacks, it feels like a waste.
• What’s the point of being tired and never making a point?
• I don’t know what kiai is for
• I don’t know how to use kiai
• I don’t know why I’m using kiai
• I don't know if I should even use kiai.
• I get tight and can’t attack
• I don’t know what signals I’m giving to my opponent
• I don't know what techniques to use..
• I don't know when or why to use certain techniques
• Psychological hesitation
• I don’t know why I’m not attacking
• I don’t know why I’m not defending
• I don’t know why I’m afraid
• I don’t know what I’m thinking about
• I don’t know why I’m thinking too much
• I don’t’ know what my objectives are
• I don’t know what my opponent’s objectives are
• I don’t know how to read my opponent
• I feel like my opponent can read everything I'm thinking
• I don’t know why I don’t know anything I need to or should know

External layers of hesitation – My opponents barriers of resistance that add to my own internal conflicts, to further inhibit my attacks

• Distance layer
• Opponent constantly adjusts distance, whether too close / too far, so that it inhibits my willingness to attack.
• But he's always in distance to strike me.
• Attack layer
• Opponent’s attacks are strong, and inhibits my willingness to attack
• Opponent’s technique’s are superior, and inhibits my willingness to attack
• Opponents attacks literally scare / intimidate me, I feel like cowering and just defending
• Defense layer
• Opponent is in a strong defensive position, and nothing is open.
• Opponent’s Shinai tip is always in the way of my attacks – I can’t get it out of the way.
• Opponent parries every attack and throws me off balance.
• Opponent counter-attacks every attack I make
• Opponent has no fear of my attacks
• Physical hesitation
• Opponent “wraps” or “locks” up my shinai, inhibiting my offense / defense.
• Opponent inhibits my attack by confusing my kamae
• Opponent intimidates my kamae with tai-atari
• Opponent weakens whatever feeling I have in my kamae.
• Psychological hesitation
• Opponent always has the upper-hand
• Opponent appears to have this "aura" or "sphere" of defense that I can't penetrate
• Opponent’s “seme” is strong, and inhibits my willingness to attack
• Opponent “seme” scares me
• Opponent’s kiai is intimidating
• Opponent’s glare is intimidating
• Opponent’s kamae is intimidating, i.e., jodan, hasso,etc.
• Opponent’s eagerness to defeat me is intimidating
• Opponent’s lack of regard for losing is intimidating
• I’m just intimated by every challenge in life
• I’m afraid of failure
• I don’t want to lose
• I don’t feel like winning
• I don't know what to think
• I don't know what to do
• I don't know what to look for
• I just feel like a punching bag