Things to work on

1. Swinging my Shinai.
Last Thursday, at OCB's practice, Chris told me that my Shinai swinging is unnecessrily too big.
This didn't mean that it was bad because it was too big, but my swing had unnecessry movements in it that hindered me from striking straight. Chris said, "it's like a math. The closest distance between two points are straight line. Your swing has unnecessary movements that make your strike slow." He told me to practice in front of the mirror to hitting my Shinai straight.

UG has once taught us to bring up your Shinai right up (as if someone's pulling the string from the top) and bring it straight down.

Today, NG explained it to me further. There are two different kinds of swinging. Big swing and small swing. If you work on your big swing, it'll naturally become smaller and faster.
(I've learned this before but this matter came back as I concontrated more on details)
You can use both big and small swing, depending on the situation.

2. Slightly moving my upper body forward.
SHRKU Sensei taught me something new today (something that I've never heard of before).
In Kamae, you move your upper body very very tiny bit forward (with your hip moving forward). When he showed me this, I could hardly see anything b/c his body inside his Kendo-Gi was moving a bit forward. He said that this will naturally make your whole body to move forward thus making your right foot stomp.
This will give Seme to the opponent.

When I asked him this movement might give the opponent the impression that I'm about to attack, he said do it very small and do it very quickly.
(He said this was the reason why I lacked my Zanshin b/c I was trying to attack straight from my Kamae, thus I had hard time reaching forward --- which stopped my body in the middle of attack)

As I attack forward, swing my Shinai big.
I should work on this.

3. Opponent's sensing my Shinai.
Richard said that when I'm in Kamae, he was sensing my Shinai by tapping my Shinai. He said that my Shinai was firm and strong, but right before I attack, my Shinai would completely lose its firmness (triggering sign that that I'm about to attack). He found this recurring pattern and mentioned it to me. I should observe it more and change it (be more flexible).

More things to work on

1. Too much strength on my right hand when doing Kirikaeshi.
KN Sensei mentioned that when I do Kirikaeshi, there's too much power in my right hand, so that's why my Shinai slips off. He said that I should relax both my arms and squeeze both arms right at the impact.

2. I wabble my Shinai after striking.
TKHSH Sensei said that I should straignten my Shinai after striking and should not wabble it.

3. I raise my Shinai too high after striking.
HSKW Sensei said both my arms should extend out stright forward. He said my arms and Shinai are too high after striking.

4. Stompping
My right foot heel hurts alot. I asked SHRKU Sensei yesterday of how to do the stomping correctly. He showed me that I should do it with the ball of my foot. I discussed this w/ Richard and concluded that I should not think about it but just put my whole body into the attack.
I should practice on this cuz I think I'm doing it wrong.

Things to work on

Yesterday, I participated in shimpan seminar as a volunteer kenshi.
Of the almost 10 matches, I haven't won a single one of them, and I only got 1 point total.
(and UG said that was NOT a valid point)

There were some common critiques and advices that people have been making about my kendo, so I will summarize below:
(HSKW sensei, SHRKU sensei, TKHSH sensei, OLSN sensei, UG, SPC, the 2nd dan girl from Torrence dojo)

1. I stop in the middle of the attack. (that I have no Zanshin)
So, my attack is not complete, thus my attack is not valid.
SHRKU sensei thought that I stop right after I strike b/c I'm afraid that I might get hit.
But, he said that I should not be afraid of those (esp. during keiko) but go all the way through.

He showed me how to fix it:
From Kamae, take 2 steps forward, then hit Men, then go at least 5 steps with fast Tsuriyashi.
In doing this, bring my left leg as fast as I can, so make my Tsuriyashi fast.
UG pointed out that everything has to be smooth.
After the second step (right before striking Men), I should not stop to bring up my Shinai BUT as I take that second step and going forward, I should bring it up as I go (smoothly).
Also, bring my Shinai right down (thus tip of my Shinai making a big half circle --- NOT pulling the Shinai forward a little then bring it down).

2. My stance is still too wide.
HSKW sensei said it many times and today TKHSH sensei, too.
Close the gap, then go forward.

3. I should jump forward, NOT upward.
TKHSH sensei said that I should jump forward NOT upward when I strike Men.

4. When I hit Kote, I freeze right after I hit it (thus making not going through all the way).
UG said that I should charge into the opponent's body --- NOT just freeze thus stopping in the middle.

So, I should work on these.
Additionally, I think that I think too much. I should just do it or practice it.
Less thinking, more action. Nike was right. "Just do it"

Balance : Enjoy

Today, during the get together for our dojo,
I expressed my frustration in not improving in kendo.

MGM said, "just enjoy it."

So, I asked UG what can I do to improve my kendo.
(He first said that just keep practicing on the things we talked about)
UG said, "enjoy it."

Then I said, "but when I enjoy it, then all my bad habits come out."
So, he said, "then don't enjoy it too much."

Lesson learned: I should let myself go and be natural. The more I think about things, it'll make me even more tense, so I won't be natural. But, there's always a balance so that I shouldn't fully let go of myself but keep watch myself.

Lesson learned 2: Practice, practice...

Practice Practice

HSKW sensei pointed out that my feet are still bit wide apart in Kamae.

He said, "Practice, Practice..."

I guess that's all it takes.

I read this phrase from this kendo book I recently got.
"The sword is: You sharpen it with your body and cut (strike) with your mind."

Today, during a keiko with SPC, this particular Kote-Men combo validly went in.
So, he said, "Good job, [KJ]."

I felt like I had earned that comment from SPC because:
1. I went to each practice almost everyweek.
2. I got to each practice early and started the practice by leading the warm ups.
3. I tried to give my best in each practice and each session. I tried to go 2 steps when UG told us to go 1 step.
4. I hated getting exhausted but I tried to endure that moment.
5. I talked to senseis afterward for the feedbacks.
6. I asked UG for the specific feedbacks and took his comments by heart.
7. I read Spammy's blog and talked to Spammy for guidance.
8. I asked questions to YMGCH sensei and took his answer by heart.
9. I watched many kendo videos at home and in YouTube and tried to learn from them.
10. I got a book and read about kendo.
11. I constantly thought about what I can do to improve my kendo.
12. I tried to apply kendo in my real life (in studying, etc.).
13. I tried to practice suburi at home.
14. I tried to keep myself humble so that I can learn from other kenshis what to do and what not to do. I also tried to learn any good things from anybody even from beginners. I tried to supress my ego.

Doing all these resulted in that one valid strike.

Now, I'm still lacking in many things and I must do many more.
(Ex. YMGCH sensei and SPC said I won't improve just by doing 2 practices a week and should do at least 3-4; Practice suburi at home, etc.)

I guess it's a good start.

Few things to work on

Some feedback after the practice:

1. HSKW sensei said that my feet are still a bit wide apart in my Kamae. It's better than before, but still needs to be closed more.

2. UG observed my Tsuki-No-Seme-te-Men and mentioned that, although my Kamae was straight, my posture is not straight when I go for Men. So, he told me to work on keeping my posture straight when I go for Men.

(3. Additionally, after a keiko with a senpai 2-dan from Torrence dojo, she mentioned that I do not go forward enough. She said that I could get so many more points if I go forward and follow through. UG mentioned it last time, so this must be my commonly occuring problem.)

(4. TKHSH sensei mentioned that I have improved overall, but my strike is still bit shallow and my posture still not completely straight. This corresponds with what UG said today. So, I should work on this as well)

Learning by Teaching

I read from this kendo book that one's learning also comes from teaching others who are inferior than himself.

Today, during keiko sessions with Jerry and Alex, I taught them what I learned from SPC.
I told him that if the opponent crosses your comfort zone, attack. Don't wait until he comes all the way in. Make him know that he should not cross your boundary.

Amazingly, when I was doing keiko with Mr. Yang, I remembered what I taught earlier and I applied that. When Mr. Yang came in closer and closer, I attacked for his Men or Kote. His advance became much less frequent and more cautious.

Summaries

The followings are certain things (from the lessons from the past) that I worked on today:

1. Stepping in as if you're stepping on your opponent's toe.
I've learned this before from various senseis in CMKD, and SPC recently reinforced this to me.
I tried this more and more recently, and this makes sense. Really...learning doesn't happen one night (ah....YMGCH sensei, SPC, and Spammy said this too!!).
When I tried this during the basic practice (especially when we do One Step Men), I consciously try this technique and it really does feel different.
If I may have to add something, you have to feel comfortable with your opponent. I tell myself that I'm feeling comfortable with whoever's standing in front of me and that I can run into him as far as I could to step his toe. Then, I go in with my full strength.

2. One clean slate at a time (in keiko when you're exhausted).
During the Ippon-Shobu keiko with Mr. Yang today, we both had reached the point of exhaustion because both wouldn't give up. I was so drained that I just wanted to let loose my guard. However, I remembered the lesson that I that I should take it one at a time and give my best in each one of them. (Spammy, Eiga video, etc.)
So, in each of the kamae (after either of us' attack was invalid), I thought of it as a new keiko. And during the attack, I tried to give my full effort into it. I lasted longer than usual (but I still lost ---- probably because of the fear thing explained below).

Dealing with fear

After my keiko with Mr. Yang, UG made some comments on my kendo.

He said that I show fear, thus, my attack is not full but more like half-hearted (thus not powerful).
He also said that this may be the reason why my upper body moves first (because I wanna reach in).

I told him that when I attack with my full body, Mr. Yang's kamae would stick to my throat, thus I'm afraid of going in fully.

He said, "so what if you get stuck?!! get stuck then! Just go in with your full force and don't show fear!"

He was right. I am a coward.

After a couple of attempts to hit Men but getting stuck into his tsuki, I just didn't wanna go in anymore. I've lost courage to keep trying.

Ok, so, since I've admitted it, I'll shake it off.

UG told me to observe Ryan, who went all-in in each of his attack. I saw the force and the difference between my attack his Ryan's.

"...not to lose courage in the face of adversity...."
- a statement from kendo documentary on Eiga.

Laziness

I'm lazy.

The very basic thing in kendo is physical training.
After all, kendo is a physical activity, and w/out the physical training,
I might as well have just a coffee discussion about kendo.

But, I do not practice suburi at home.
I complain about lack of success without putting any required effort into it.
This shows my true nature that I'm lazy.
(thus, kendo shows your character)

YMGCH sensei said it, HSKW sensei said it, SPC said it, Spammy said it, UG said it.

I acknowledge that I should do it.

But, I still don't do it.

I'm lazy.

100 suburis a day.

Kendo mind set

I was taught to "always have forward mind" in kendo.

A few practices ago, during the keiko with SPC, he told me not to back up during keiko (refer to my blog about special lessons from SPC).

He said that 'if your opponent crosses your comfort zone, you must attack.'

So I replied, "if I know that my opponent's gonna block it, why do I even attack?"

So he asked me, "what? so if your know your opponent's gonna block it, you're not gonna attack?"

At that moment, I just accepted it as that I should always attack or have that forward mind.

Today, while reading this book about kendo, that came across my mind.
If I were to conclude on what we talked about and what I've learned today,
I would say the following:

Constantly look for openings to attack, even if you have to inevitably back up for the moment.
In that moment when you feel that you cannot move at all and you think that your attack will be ineffective, do not lose courage. You must have courage to hold your stance and attack.
Don't be afraid of losing or not making the point. But give your best to each attempt. Even though you fail to succeed. Do not give up but hold your ground and attack with proper mind and technique.

(The above is subject to change)

Some thoughts on self-learning process...

During the "Special Session by YMGCH sensei" a while ago, I expressed my frustration in learning kendo and improving myself. I told YMGCH sensei that I don't know what to do and I cannot understand clearly how to learn kendo. He first asked me for a specific question. Then, he answered that specific question. He told me to get a book a read it. He said that I should study it and be able to figure things out.

Everything seemed so vague and so foreign to me. I just wished that someone would tell me everything so clearly, so that they all make sense to me. Even if I believed that I am fortunate to have all the senseis in my dojo, I still felt like I'm not getting a clear grasp of what I'm suppose to learn.

After that, I also expressed my frustration to Spammy. Since he always explains to me very clearly, I expected him to explain everything about kendo to me very thoroughly. But, he "clearly" explained to me that learning kendo is a self-learning process which I must go through by myself.

For some time, it didn't make sense to me. Since I've been in school for so long, I thought transfer of knowledge was as simple as the teacher explaining things to his students. However, I can vaguely get the idea that it cannot be done in kendo.

Kendo is something that, even if you know with your knowledge, your body must be able to execute what you know. I've heard this before. I heard that in Greek, there are 2 different kinds of "knowledge." 1) You simply know as a knowledge; and 2) You know it by heart.

I'm sure that kendo is something that requires both your knowledge and your body's execution. Then, you cannot know kendo by simply listening to what someone tell you. You must practice it and acquire it with your mind, heart, and body.

In that sense, YMGCH sensei was right. He explained his answer to my specific question. But, he expected me to learn it and acquire it through my own training.

So, I bought a book about kendo and read it. I watched kendo videos in YouTube. Also, I decided to become more active in learning kendo at dojo by asking senseis for their advice after practice. But most of all, I must practice more. 100 suburis everyday...like HSKW sensei and SPC told me to do.

SHRKU sensei's 7th Dan

SHRKU sensei received 7th Dan.

When I did keiko today with him, his strike felt much more solid and precise.

I like doing keiko with SHRKU sensei because his kendo is proper and right.

So, when he tells me, "keep your kendo", I guess I'm not too far away from the right path.

How IS my kendo anyways? ;p

Omedeto Gozaimasu, SHRKU sensei.

Timing and all...

All these lessons...

I don't know if I can incorporate these.

SPC said that I'm not gonna fix it in few evening's practices.

Ah...is there any faster way??!!

I guess not.

I think about "Timing" a lot these days.

When UG mentioned it, it began to make sense to me. I still don't get it, but seeing the right timing and attacking it (that your body is following your thoughts)...

It's still unclear, but I must keep practicing and find out.

But, over all, doing the proper basics (what YMGCH sensei, HSKW sensei, SPC, UG, Spammy all said) is the most important thing.

Lesson from KN - Proper Seme

During the basic practice, we did Seme-te Men.

KN mentioned that my Tsuki-no Seme was not proper.

I thought it was just to move around my shinai a little then to attack Men,
but KN said that I should actually make it solid and have my tip directly aim at the opponent's Tsuki (as if I'm gonna really go for his Tsuki) even if I'm moving around to create Seme.

That made sense.

I used that to SPC during the basic practice, and SPC said that it was good.

Lessons from UG

UG observed my keiko with another kenshi.

UG gave me some feed back:

1. I drag my back foot (left foot). That's why I cannot go for the second attack when I miss the first attack. I should quickly bring it up.

2. I should go forward and don't stop it after I strike.

Lessons from SPC sensei

During the keiko with SPC, he taught me some lessons:

1. Find your own comfort zone (distance). And, if your opponent steps forward and crosses that distance, attack him. Don't let him come in to that comfort distance.
During the basic practice, 1-step Men is the best way to find that comfort distance.
If I get the right distance, after 5 years, that distance will be much further than when I started.

2. Shibari? (that quick squeeze to shinai when you strike)
(I never knew this, but this enlightened me about striking correctly)
When I strike Men, I've heard many times from other senseis that my strike is shallow.
SPC told me that I must have that quick squeeze to shinai when I strike.
He said that when we do Suburi, 1) make a big motion; and 2) practice that quick squeeze.
But, in keiko, you cannot really make a big swing of shinai because you'll never get the valid strike (the opponent will always block because it's too big).
So, you just bring it up a little, but give that quick squeeze. That squeeze will give your strike a firm and heavy strike.
But, it depends on senseis because some senseis want to see bigger strike, so you just adjust to whoever you're doing keiko with. But at least, SPC doesn't do full swing.

3. Keiko v. Shiyai - Mentality
SPC said that I hesitate.
He said that while keeping the proper distance (and attacking the opponent when he invades my comfort zone), I should never back up during keiko. In keiko, I'm practicing my forward feeling, so I should always go forward and never back up. If he comes in, I attack (NOT step back). If I keep moving back, he will just come in and attack me.
In shiyai, it's different. When both are too close, you can step back and re-adjust. But, even then, you don't wanna back up too much too often.

4. Stepping
My stepping was weird. I raise my right foot too high. I felt awkward, and it looked awkward. SPC said that I should move forward as if I'll be stepping on his toe.

5. Stance
SPC asked me if my back leg (left leg) was straight. I was.
He said that whatever I feel comfortable, I should do. He also bends his front leg (right leg) a little and straightens his back leg.
When we were doing keiko, in Kamae, he said "get ready.....wait......wait......wait....." then when he attacked, I went for Men.

6. Practicing Suburi
SPC practices 50 Suburis a day. He said I should do at least 100.
He also said doing kendo 2 times a week will not really improve me much.
True. People in Korea (and I'm sure in Japan too), they do things everyday.

7. Finally
Many people will tell you different things, but you gotta find what sounds right and feels right to you.
I wished that I could be like him. So, I'll incorporate whatever he tells me.

Lessons from YMGCH Sensei

After the 1st practice, I went to YMGCH sensei and asked him a few questions. Here are his answers:

1. When I do keiko, I've always practiced a single strike, meaning I go for single Men, single Kote, or single Do. Once I close the gap between me and the opponent, I look for a chance I and go for the single strike but could never do double strikes (ex. Kote-Men) or other techniques because I'm already face-to-face with the opponent (too close). What should I do?

- YMGCH sensei said that I should have a proper distance in Kamae position. He said that most people are too close (i.e. their shinai is already crossing in the middle. that's too close), so they only can strike once. I should be further apart and have the proper distance, so even if I go for Kote and miss it (or Men and miss it), I should still have more distance to go for the second attack. I should work on this during keiko.

2. How should I attack? I mean, I know when we Kamae, we look for opening and go in when we see it. But, in reality, it's really hard to see the opening when we're just standing against each other.

- You have to ALWAYS watch your opponent and NEVER take your eyes from your opponent. Then, you use Seme to the Tsuki to pressure the opponent. He will react in someway (but he will ALWAYS react no matter what). Then, there's always openings and you go for that opening. To do this, I should practice what YMGCH sensei taught us the other day (i.e. the practice where Motodachi comes to me for Men and I slightly move forward diagonally to avoid getting hit). I should practice watching the opening and his strike and reacting to it.

- He said that there's also opening when the opponent moves forward. That split second, I can attack because opponent cannot do anything. I've learned that from YMGCH sensei and I've put it to use already. However, I cannot always stand there and wait for him to move. Thus, to pressure him to move, I must use Seme (like explained above).

3. I see the opening, but by the time I act, it's too late. The opponent already blocks it or moves his arms to avoid getting hit. For example, when I see Kote opening and go for it, he already moves his arms so I end up hitting his upper arms. Or, when I see Do opening and go for it, he already lowers his arms and blocks it.

- You gotta be quick (and precise). ( I guess that comes with practicing Suburi many times, thus getting stronger arms for using shinai faster)

4. Finally, YMGCHI sensei said the best way to practice all these is to do Yakusoku keiko (planned (or agreed) keiko where you and the partner agree to attack certain place and practice techniques and timings).

What a valuable lessons from YMGCHI sensei!
I wanted to sit there and wanted to hear more and more.
I felt like the more I hear, I'll get better.
However, I thought there's no use in hearings only but to actually do them.
So, I told the sensei that I'd practice them and ask further questions if I have any.
He smiled.